The Potty Train

No one tells you after infertility, you sometimes get what you want; a baby. Then baby grows up, and bam! Theres a toddler standing before you; screaming at you for the yogurt they spilled on their shirt. The dribbling offence now destroying the brand new outfit that was fresh and cute 20 minutes ago. I …

Viable?

After spotting for days, it takes a break one day, only to be back the next. Today dawns, and I’m up early. Nervous as I get ready for my appointment with the Obstretian. Jack drives, and we talk about the weather, and life in general. My pregnancy and the upcoming appointment; off limits. My head …

Expect the expected.

“Okay, you can do this. Just say your pregnant, and get an appointment. Won’t be that hard.” I prepped myself, ready to say those words, ‘ I’m pregnant’. The next step after the two pink lines is getting an appointment with your doctor to confirm. How many times had I done this? Oh right, 5. …

A fresh start, so it seems.

It’s been months. I stopped posting, and got on with my life. Settled on the fact that a baby was just out of reach. Jack and I worked on the relationship we left in tatters, or more to the point; completely ignored, and became close once again. There was no more schedules, pills, tracking; to …

The Battle, I lost.

What happens now? When you no longer take pills, take your temperature, track your cycle, pee on sticks for 20 some days of the month? What happens when you stop trying? It’s what I think about, a lot. What do I do now? I battled with my body for 3 years. Took different fertility medications, …

Rule No.6

Rule Number 6 Oh this one is a goody. Rule Number 6, is.... well it sucks. You will be the fertility guru. Every single friend will be asking you 1000’s of questions about how to get pregnant. When should I have sex? When do you ovulate? What OPK’s should I use? It hasn’t happened yet, …

Rule 5

Oh the joys of infertility. Over 2 years I have endured this journey with no progress. Rule 5, is just one of those annoying things that happen a lot. Buckle up, cause your along for the ride. Rule # 5 - You will cry. The smallest of things will set you off. An adorable baby, …

Game Over, Baby.

January 3rd, 2019. A day that has so many memories for me. I wake up, feeling saddened. 2 years ago today my whole world was flipped. Who knew that a miscarriage at 11 weeks could still affect you two years later. But here I am. To add to my sorrowful day, I start a new …

The End.

Infertility. So much emotion and meaning in a tiny little word. I can say the word out loud and I can feel my body tense, my heart go numb, and the sorrow of my voice. I nonchantly shrug my shoulders, attempting to make it into no big deal. It’s unexplainable; it’s unfathomable; It’s torture. I hate …

The finer points of PCOS

Will it ever stop? I ask myself as I lay on the bathroom floor, hoping I die. Its Sunday. The day of rest. I woke up feeling meh. Headache and just a bit nauseous. Pregnancy symptoms??? Man, I don’t even bother stopping to hope for such things. By lunch, the nausea had gotten worse. I …